• Business
  • Community
  • Crime
  • Education
  • Health
  • Politics
  • What’s On
  • Traffic & Travel
  • Weather
Bath Echo
  • Monday 16th June 2025
  • Subscribe
  • Opinion
  • Reviews
  • Letters
  • Advertise
  • Contact Us
  • Latest Issue
  • Jobs
  • Awards
Bath Echo

Bath, GB

  • Business
  • Community
  • Crime
  • Education
  • Health
  • Politics
  • What’s On
  • Traffic & Travel
  • Weather
Home
Opinion
Karen Bray

Happiness in three questions (15/09/20) – Karen Bray

Tuesday 15th September 2020 Bath Echo | Lifestyle Karen Bray

Share
Tweet
WhatsApp
Pin
Share

When life has got us down, moving forward into a more positive future always requires a balance of two contrasting elements.

Firstly, it’s important to fully acknowledge our experience, which includes accepting all our feelings, however painful they are (and however inappropriate we may believe them to be) as valid.

Secondly, it helps to take positive action in the world, despite our difficult feelings.

Both these aspects are equally valuable. However, as a counsellor I often provide space for people to explore difficult feelings which they can’t express anywhere else, in a society which likes to “accentuate the positive”.

This is, perhaps, why psychological therapies have a reputation for dwelling on problems and deficits.  In fact, I also use a powerful “solution-focused” approach which pays attention to people’s strengths, capabilities and hopes for the future.

This is not simplistic “positive thinking” or “getting on with things” however. That can backfire when we, or those around us, have unrealistic expectations of what we can achieve.

I recently came across the phrase: “We cannot see the wind someone is walking into, we can only see how it forces them to lean.”

While this is a good reminder not to judge others by how they appear (that’s just an indicator of what they are struggling with), I think we can often underestimate the “wind we are walking into” ourselves. That sets us up for failure and harsh self-judgment.

Rather than set ourselves goals which might lead to a feeling of overwhelm, we can notice what’s already working, using the “Three Questions for a Happy Life” identified by Belgian therapist Luc Isebaert. It takes just a few minutes to answer them at the end of each day, perhaps in a journal. They are:

1. What did I do today that I am happy with?

2. What did someone else do that I am happy with or grateful for?  And did I react in a way that could help this person to do something like that again?

3. What did I see, hear, feel, smell or taste today that I was happy with or grateful for?


Karen Bray (MBACP) is a counsellor with a private practice in Bath. Her website is at www.karenbray.co.uk.

Share
Tweet
WhatsApp
Pin
Share
Next article New support to help improve mental health and wellbeing for businesses
Previous article This week, The Pig is mostly… (15/09/2020)

Related Stories

New Year's Evolution (28/12/20) – Karen Bray
Monday 28th December 2020

New Year's Evolution (28/12/20) – Karen Bray

Replenish your resources (09/11/20) – Karen Bray
Monday 9th November 2020

Replenish your resources (09/11/20) – Karen Bray

Planning well for winter (13/10/20) – Karen Bray
Tuesday 13th October 2020

Planning well for winter (13/10/20) – Karen Bray

...
Followers
Follow
...
Followers
Follow
...
Followers
Follow

Top Stories

Bath Rugby fans line the streets to celebrate Premiership win

Bath Rugby fans line the streets to celebrate Premiership win

Monday 16th June 2025
CCTV appeal launched by police after man attacked in pub

CCTV appeal launched by police after man attacked in pub

Monday 16th June 2025
Bath student spared jail after biting graduate’s ear at party

Bath student spared jail after biting graduate’s ear at party

Monday 16th June 2025
Cycle path and crossings plan to improve Sydney Road LTN

Cycle path and crossings plan to improve Sydney Road LTN

Monday 16th June 2025
City sweet shop premises are repossessed over rent arrears

City sweet shop premises are repossessed over rent arrears

Monday 16th June 2025
  • Business
  • Community
  • Crime
  • Education
  • Health
  • Politics
  • What’s On
  • Traffic & Travel
  • Weather
  • Back to top
Created by Media Bath - Regulated by IMPRESS

About the Bath Echo | Your City, Your News

We're your local independent newspaper covering news and events across beautiful Bath and the close surrounding villages. We're here to help keep Bathonians in the know about what's going on in their city.

Useful Info

  • House Rules
  • Cookie Policy
  • Contact Us
  • About Us
  • Terms & Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Complaints Policy
  • Social Media Policy
© Bath Echo 2025. All rights reserved.
Produced by Media Bath Limited